Wait, back up. Let us approach this with less panic and more logic. Life is short, right? But if you live by that doctrine, and your life (with the universe laughing hysterically at you) turns out to be just as long as you thought it wouldn't, you're stuck with a failing liver and lung cancer. But- if you intentionally ensure the relative briefness of your existence (ie- smoke two packs a day), you get the best of both worlds, right? Just because you don't have a fork doesn't mean the cake is inedible.